Love Letters

Today I stumbled across a lovely blog post in which Amber writes a Marriage Letter every Monday to her husband. As I read her thoughtful note, I pondered what mine would have looked like over the past 9-ish years. I'm ashamed to think that my notes would not be nearly as thoughtful, and would probably be filled with nagging angst (note to self: let go), or go something like this:

Dear Ryan, I am exhausted from scrubbing bathroom floors, changing poopy chonies, and working an extra three hours from home after an 8-hour work day. Thanks for picking up Taco Bell for dinner. If it's okay with you, I'll catch up with you another day - I promise I'll write something real sincere. Also, it's trash day tomorrow so don't forget to put the cans out. Much love, your snoring beauty

I'd probably throw in a couple of cliches about love and reminisce about one of our favorite memories. But I love that Amber (we're on a first-name basis) really has devoted time and consideration into her letter (something I used to do, pre-babies), which reminds me that a good marriage doesn't just happen. It requires constant care and reflection, in a deliberate way, not something that happens by chance. My favorite part of the letter is this:

Our marriage has been one little failure after another, strengthened by every single time we say, “but I’m still here.” Patience is when you say, “but I’m still here.” The patient love is what inches us forward, believing in the unseen. Patience is when you walk on the waters of hope for me, when I’m refusing the vision.

It makes us feel like a miracle

Lovely and honest. Thanks for keeping it real, Amber. We are all trying to figure out how to do marriage best. I wouldn't say that my marriage has been one failure after another, but I will admit to making the same mistakes and demands over and over, sometimes learning, while sometimes choosing pride and callousness instead. This marriage business can be a tough road at times, but promising to hang in there together makes those sweet stretches even more worth it. And, yes, sometimes it does make us feel like a miracle.

Here's to more date nights, less nagging, and a promise of relentless grace and patience for the one whom my soul loves.

Wordless Wednesday - A boy after my own heart!

Thoughts about Carpe Diem

Some thoughts about Carpe Diem, shared by a friend:

2011 Lesson #2: Don't Carpe Diem

Not my words, obviously, but many of them resounded with me. I love parenting. The overall process and journey is amazing as a whole, but some of the details are messy and ugly. My children are only 2 and 5 so I realize I've got a lot of road ahead of me, but it is validating to fellowship and share with other moms so we can feel less alone, inadequate, and more appreciative of the little people God has given us to care for.

Another friend said:

A couple years ago, an older lady smiled at me in the donut store (as my 2 toddlers were wild with excitement and I was wearing my baby in the Bjorn) and told me, "The days are long but the years are fast."


Thanks, Mom Friends, for your honesty and transparency.

Wordless Wednesday - Loev

Resolutions

I make them every year, and sometimes I complete them and most of the time I do not, which I realize makes undermines the general public's definition of "New Year's Resolutions." However, let me explain to you my rational: Of course I think it is important to complete a goal, but more important to me is working toward a goal. My goals change according to family or life circumstances, and sometimes they are at the mercy of time or energy, so that means they may change. But I am going to make them again. I won't tell you that I will complete them, but I will tell you that these are the things that I think are important TODAY, that I plan on spending time with:

Lose the baby weight and get in some exercise. 

Ferr realz. Cliche, maybe, but true for me. I am looking forward to feeling comfortable in my own skin again.

Journal 3-5 times per week. 

Sometimes these will be public posts, other times they will just be for me. And I think I might use this idea:

From Design Sponge

Isn't is great for capturing the essence of a day?! And I love that multiple years are tracked on the same sheet.

Read 12 books.

Just one a month, so that seems feasible to me. If you have any suggestions, shout 'em out! I have a few on my list but am always looking for more. My list so far includes:

• How to Love an American Man
• The Family Dinner
• The Soldier's Wife
• Love and Respect
• Bittersweet
• Captivating
• I Dared to Call Him Father
• The One Hundred
• The Happiness Project

I'll be keeping track of my progress here, on Goodreads.

Decorate my Home (for Cheap).

Which means lots of DIY, and lots of help from family, friends, and hubby. We bought our home just 6 months ago, but we are still trying to get it done up. Pinterest has been both helpful and extremely overwhelming to this process.

Being Thankful.

Church service yesterday was great, and my one word from Colossians that I am longing for in 2012 is Thankfulness. And don't get me wrong; I am thankful (for my healthy babies, for a new beautiful house, for a wonderful family, for good steady jobs, and on and on), but then I pick up from my thankfulness and begin wanting more. I want to dwell in thankfulness this year. What I have been given is enough.  

So there you are. My resolutions for 2012 today. They may change, or they may not get done, but this is my focus right now.