Happiness is...

A good, productive day almost always must include:

1) Taking everything out of the fridge, wiping it down, and getting rid of this nasty stuff:

2) Restocking it at Costco with locally-grown produce and everything needed for meals for the next week or two.

3) Buying a book for your daughter that you loved as a child ("It all began with that shoe on the wall...").

Shameful Browsing

I'm exposing myself...here are the Top Six websites I shamefully enjoy:

1. http://www.fmylife.com/ - Think your life is bad? Check out these stories from this hilariously entertaining website:

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML.

Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you." I asked him about it and he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan." My name isn't Megan, not even close. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML.

Today, a Girl Scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a Girl Scout. FML.

Today is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparently my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked in front of half my school. FML.

2. Some e-cards - E-cards for that special occasion, and for that special somebody who must enjoy sarcasm and maybe a crude joke. I am proud to say that I know a few people I would send these to.


3. Cake Wrecks - I've blogged about it before. Remember the Baby Cake? Horrible messes made of cakes...misspellings, bad art, and bad ideas.

This is one titled The Problem with Phone Orders

[answering phone] "Cakey Cake Bakery, Jill speaking! How can I help you?"

"Hi, I need to order a cake for my boss. We have a photo of him playing golf that we'd like to put on it, though - can you do that?"

"Of course! Just bring the photo in on a USB drive and we'll print it out here."

"Great, I'll bring it by this afternoon."Later..."Hey, Jill, what am I putting on this cake?"

"Oh, check the counter; I left the jump drive out for you there."[calling from the back room] "Really? This is what they want on the cake?"

"Yeah, the customer just brought it in."

"Okey dokey!"

Believe it or not, this is a TRUE story: Elisabeth R. worked at the office in question. Besides, how could I ever make up something this good?

4. Funny or Die - Please tell me you've seen The Landlord. Will Farrell gets no mercy from Pearl. Lots of videos and celeb cameos.

5. Chelsea Lately. Okay, this one is really a late-night TV show. On E. I know, the lowest of all lows, but it is hilarious and makes late-night nursings enjoyable! Here are a few tid-bits from Chelsea Handler:

According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don’t get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it’s from your priest; in public school, you learn from your teacher; and some guys learn from their sisters…if their sister is Angelina Jolie.

According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious—Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong
bracelet. She wears it as a belt.

6. Gap/Old Navy/Banana Republic/PiperLime/Athleta

So, it is not embarrassing that I visit this site, but it is slightly embarrassing what I do there. I Dream Shop by filling up the shopping cart with items that I would buy if I won the lottery. I fill that baby up and pretend that I will look as good in the clothes as the models. Then...I close out of the window. The sad part? Eventhough I am shopping with pretend Lotto money (I don't even play!), I still check out the clearance section. I believe it is the virtual equivalent of filling up the cart at Walmart and then leaving it in a shoe isle.


There you have it. The worst of me.

Jake's Two-Month Check-Up

So...our little man is 2 months old! Okay, this is a little delayed, as his 2-month birthday was the 25th of May. But he was finally seen for his Well Baby visit and things look good!

Weight: 13 lbs, 2 oz. (75th percentile...big boy!)

Height: 24 inches (90th percentile...getting so tall!)

Head Circumference: 16 inches (50th percentile)

Lifts head for a short time: Yes

Responds to sound: Yes

Stares at faces: Yes

Follows objects briefly: Yes

Smiles: Yes!

Immunizations: DTP, HiB, RotaVirus, Polio, and Pneumococcal Conjugate (thankfully they are finally combining the right ones, so he only got 2 shots and 1 orally)

Likes: nursing, watching Emily, ceiling fans, trying to mimic Mommy and Daddy, sucking on his fingers or a pacifier, baths, being swaddled

Dislikes: having his clothes changed or his face washed

Jake is sleeping mostly through the night, and only wakes up once (usually between 4 and 5) to nurse. He still takes a bottle every day (usually by Emily) for preparation for my return to work on July 1. He is FINALLY over Thrush, so he is a little happier. After consulting with the pediatrician for three visits now, we have decided to put him on Prevacid for acid reflux. So far, it seems to be making him more comfortable, but we'll fininsh out the remaining 10 days before we decide for sure whether to keep him on it or not. Other than that, all is good!

Wordless Wednesday: Picking Flowers and Bored with Tummy Time

Soothing Words

Emily (as Jake was screaming in the car ride to Anthony's baseball banquet):

"It's okay, Baby Jake. Stop crying...we're going to a party."

Wordless Wednesday: Smiley Guy and Sliding in Sacramento

Free Float Night

I had it on our calendar, but I might have forgotten anyhow. Good thing my friend Sarah reminded me all the way from Texas that tomorrow night (June 3), Sonic Drive-In is offering FREE root beer floats from 8 pm till midnight (fine print: while supplies last). See you there!

One of Those Days

It started out nice. Hubby got up extra early and made us breakfast. I did my chores early so we could have a fun day. That was the plan. A quick stop to work, then over to the park, and possibly to Sonic to grab something cold to drink. Sounds great, huh? Well...

We were chatting with everyone at work, and just as I was telling them that Emily was all potty-trained and ready for preschool, she peed. I didn't have the diaper bag inside the office with me, so she had to walk around like that. Embarrassing for both of us. Then, Jake had a blow-out. Just in case you have never dealt with this first hand, it means poop goes everywhere (usually up the back in our case). Again, no diaper bag means I just wrapped him in a blanket and made the rest of the trip short. We finally made it to the car and got everyone cleaned up. After changing shorts, our other two stops were rather uneventful, besides the screaming, inconsolable baby in the car seat.

When we got home, it was a little later than Emily's normal nap time but I thought she would be so tired, it wouldn't matter. It did. She went to her room without a fuss. I put her in her crib, gave her and her babies a hug and kiss, and headed downstairs. Only 5 minutes later, I heard her door open. Yes, she apparently climbs out of her crib. She said she wanted to come downstairs with me. This began four of the most miserable hours of my life. She was whining and fussing, Jake was fussing and full-on screaming, and I was trying to get dinner made. Emily and I even tried making cookies, which I thought would make her happy. To no avail.

Ding dong.

Was this my fairy-godmother (okay, fairy-babysitter) I had been secretly wishing for? Sort of. My 17-year old brother was here to help! Another set of hands for diaper-changing, another stern voice for keeping Emily within the boundaries, and an adult to engange in converation. Sweeeeeeet. Apparently Ryan called in the backup when we tried on two occasions to have a 5-minute phone conversation. Thank you.

The rest of the evening went much smoother. Emily is now sound asleep, and Jake is lying awake in his crib. And me? I'm not cleaning the kitchen, or folding laundry, or scrubbing showers like I should be. I am enjoying a Hansen's soda and a few peaceful minutes at the computer with a game of Farkle in one tab and blogger in another, and thanking God that tomorrow is a new day.

Faces of Our Little Man

Jake is becoming known as "the serious one," as he very rarely shows facial expressions. He has this thinking face that is constantly wearing him. Well, today he showed us his range: