Helping people, changing lives...

From my call log at work this past month:

Caller 1: Ummm...hi. Can you help me find someone to take care of my newborn? I am a new mom and going back to work soon.
Me: Of course. Let me get a bit of information and I can get that for you right now.

Caller 2: Hola. Necesito ayuda para pagar el cuidado de nino. Me podras ayudar? (Hi. I need help paying for child care. Can you help me?)
Me: No hablo espanol. Uno momento par favor. (Alternate response: No hay fondos. = There are no funds.)

Caller 3: I am looking for a tutor for my child. Could you give me some resources?"
Me: Sure! Some schools offer after-school programs and tutoring. What school does your child attend?
Caller 3: My child doesn't go to school. She is 3 years old. But she is behind so she needs a tutor.
Me: (Stunned) Okay...let me look into that and get back to you.

So...
One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Did you guess which thing was not like others?
Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong?
If you guessed this one is not like the others
Then you are absolutely...right!

Caller 3 is not like the others. Who requests a tutor for their 3-year old??? When I run that call back through in my head, sometimes I give Mom the benefit of the doubt. I pretend that when she said "tutor," she actually meant "preschool," which is a perfectly good idea for any 3-year old. Or, I pretend that Mom has a child with special needs and she wanted someone to give her some one-on-one attention. On the other days, let my alter ego loose on her, which goes something like this:

"You want your child to succeed in school? Take her outside and let her run (This will build her large motor skills. You see, children develop starting from the trunk, then to the extremities and out to the fingers. They can't write well if they don't run enough to develop their trunk and arms). When she's done, bring her and a friend back inside and let them play with building blocks (so she can learn about gravity and sorting, and getting along with others). Then, later on, sit down at the kitchen table with some markers and paper. She will want to draw with you, and let her do whatever she wants on the paper in whatever colors she wants, even if it is pounding on the paper with the tip of the crayon and it might break (because, you know, there are 80 stages of scribbling that children go through before they start writing). THOSE things will help her succed in school. Not a tutor who will probably just rip you off. Furthermore, if you decide not to heed my advice and you do get a "tutor" for your child, what will she learn? She might be able to recite the entire alphabet, but mostly likey she just knows a song, not that each of the letters represents a phoneme, and by combining them, we can make unique sounds and words.

So...is there anything else I can do for you?"

Third Man Out

The other day I was driving on the freeway and I saw a car disabled on the right shoulder. I live in the Central Valley, so it was a rather LARGE shoulder consisting of dirt and a small field. Two men were working on the car, appearing to pour water on what I can assume was the radiator. The other man was playing soccer. By himself. Juggling and such.

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Did you guess which thing was not like others?
Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong?
If you guessed this one is not like the others
Then you are absolutely...right!

Man #3 playing soccer - while his two buddies fix the car - does not belong.

This is not about knowledge of cars, my friends. I know very little about cars, and what I do know I learned from sketchy Montecito Shell gas station attendants who ended up solving mine and Lindsey's car problems for free. (Its amazing how well the dumb blonde routine actually works...and you just thought it was joke material!) Anyway, even if you know nothing about cars, you can still help. Do what I do: stand around the open hood and nod your head in agreement; fetch water or other supplies out of the trunk when asked; and if you're feeling brave, every once in a while throw in some words like "catalytic converter" or "warranty coverage." Do not take out the soccer ball because you have some down time to brush up on your skills. I can assure you this man walked home.

Note: This blog series is dedicated to my sister and brother-in-law, with whom we often play the game "One of These Things is Not Like the Others." Thanks Jenn and Evan!